Ramblings from the parent of an obese "child"

This is a total departure from the true purpose of this blog but it’s on my mind and therefore, now will be on yours.

I judge my boyfriend a lot b/c his dog is overweight and has been overweight for awhile. She’s a cute little Toy Fox Terrier but has a roll of fat that would horrify Richard Simmons and his sweatin’ to the oldies crowd. Personally, I find the roll to be kind of endearing. Sophie has been put on diet dog food before and that just made me laugh. I didn’t know they had Lean Cuisine for dogs. Sophie managed to lose the weight and got back in the 7 lb range but is now 8.5lbs. Diet time. I warned Keith feeding her table scraps like steak from Kirby’s wasn’t a good idea but he just looks at me & laughs.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I considered myself a diligent and responsible pet owner. Leia doesn’t get table scraps and is only given small treats that are “lean”. Imagine my surprise this week when we went to the vet and I learned my precious baby weighed in at 8lbs. And as if that didn’t make me look like a bad enough mommy, I looked at her and said, “Leia, you’re fat”! Yeah, mother of the year material right here. How the heck did this happen? Is it because she eats her poop sometimes? I have a theory here. She consumes calories, expels calories and then eats them again. The logic seemed to work but Keith told me I was crazy. I take her for walks, we play fetch and she’s always active. How did this happen to my perfect Princess? How did I let this happen? The ideal weight for Leia is about 7lbs as well so this means she must lose 12% of her current body weight. My Yorkie is pleasantly plump. I looked at the vet and asked him what was going on. Leia was spayed last year and at that time, weighed 6.5lbs. Well, it turns out that when they are spayed, their metabolism slows. So let me get this straight? I robbed Leia of her opportunity to ever be a mother and by doing so I sealed her fate and made sure she would pack on the pounds?!? I’m not taking all the blame here! If the vet knew her metabolism would slow, why didn’t he tell me so I could change her food? Argh!!!!!!

Leia is now joining Sophie on a diet. I will be going to PetSmart to purchase diet dog food for them. I am buying them matching velour sweatsuits and am setting them up with a trainer….me! Keith has suggested I look into doggie treadmills for them but even I think that’s going too far. I will be setting my alarm 30 minutes earlier every day so I can make sure these two get their exercise on. I called 24 Hour Fitness only to learn I am not able to add them to my gym membership. Umm, they ARE family members. I don’t care what you say! Leia loves to swim and I’ve seen the nasty people in that pool. Trust me, my dog is WAY cleaner and can swim a hellluva lot better!