Friday, June 29, 2012

I remain confident that Christie Brinkley sold her soul to the devil.

I have a few complaints about aging. 
  • ·       You gain weight easier.
  • ·       It’s harder to lose weight.
  • ·       Wrinkles? Wtf.
  • ·       You get dry spots you never used to have and the ladies at the nail salon tell you it’s b/c  you’re going “up” which obviously is a reference to aging.
  • ·       You don’t get honked at anymore by young hotties unless you’re in backwoods Texas.
  • ·       The mousey brown color of hair you once cursed is now far preferred over the gray that keeps popping up.
  • ·       Developing ailments you never suffered from in your 20’s or even early 30’s (allergies, heartburn, sensitivity to certain foods, flatulence)…who am I kidding, I’ve always been a pooter!
  • ·       All the actors/celebrities you thought were hot when you were young are getting old which only reminds you that you’re getting old (Harrison Ford, Ed Harris, Steve Guttenberg…yes, I thought he was cute, Tom Selleck, Mark Hamil, NKOTB…well let’s face it, Joey got WAY better with age).
  • ·       Some body parts start to head south.  I guess body parts know folks like to go to Florida to retire so they get a head start?  All joking aside, I’m happy to report that my body parts haven’t started traveling south yet but I have a feeling they’ve started packing…….
  • ·       Your “baby” brother is turning 30 this year which means he in fact is no longer a baby.
  • ·       You find yourself saying things like “back in the day” or “when I was your age”….remember how obnoxious it was to hear that before?
  • ·       Understanding the need to dress age appropriately…where’s the fun in that?