Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Ironman Blues Arrived & Didn't Pack Lightly!

*Written on Tuesday*

Overall, I am still happy I finished and I am grateful to have a small PR.  I got to work Tuesday morning and saw the “13” on my computer that I had stared at for weeks and weeks and I got teary.  I removed it from the screen and put it in my purse…I just couldn’t throw it away.  Isn’t that kind of weird?  To me, throwing it away would mean I am giving up on my goal of a sub-14 Ironman.  I’m not sure I’m ready for that. 

After the race, I told Keith and pretty much anyone within earshot that I was done with Ironman Texas.  On the way back from getting my Finisher’s gear, I told him I was probably done with Ironman.  I think part of me felt defeated.  I found myself thinking that I’m probably just a 15hr type of gal.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that.  I just really, really, really wanted to hit my goal.  To watch it slip away mile by mile was truly heartbreaking.  I know this is just a hobby but it’s a hobby that I invest so much of myself into.  It’s a hobby that my friends & family invest so much into.  A hobby my coach invests so much time into.  I have come so far and to have a finish that wasn’t much better than my first just hurt. 

By Monday, I was talking about my next Ironman.  Maybe 3rd time will be a charm.  I’m torn though.  Do I pick a destination that will offer better temps or do I treat IMTX the way I treated Galveston and come back with a vengeance?  I really don’t know.  May in Texas is brutal and I’m lucky I finished on Saturday.  There were people far more fit than me who looked a lot worse off. 

So yeah, I drank the Kool-Aid and as Dee said, it’s strong stuff.  I’m seriously contemplating a 3rd Ironman.  I am not satisfied with a 15+ hour finish.  I want to do better. I know I can do better.  I will do better.

Poor Keith.  

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