Ironman Blues?

This time two years ago, Ironman blues were setting in.   I remember laying in bed feeling so down and having no idea why because nobody warned me.  This time around, I was prepared.  Yes, I know some of you are going to laugh at me because you already think I'm super anal but I don't care.  A few weeks before the race, I made two lists....one had home projects and the other had future races.  This morning when I woke up, I reviewed my lists when I felt the blues coming on.  See?  Sometimes being prepared is a very good thing. 

I was looking at pictures from the race again and was glad to see the run pictures my family got showed me looking a lot better than I felt.  When I saw the pictures my first thought was, "well that girls looks pretty good...why didn't she run her sub 5hr marathon".  Bad Jenny!  Maybe I looked okay but that was only because my family was there and I was smiling and happy to see them.  I remember very well how I felt that day....stir fried crap.  

I had written my predicted times for each part of the race and put them on a sticky note on the fridge.  I had to take it down yesterday because it made me sad to have the reminder that I didn't hit my goals.  The finish range I had in my head was something like 13:56 (based on my last half iron) to 14:30.   I always knew that meant I was going to need a "best case" scenario which is not what I got on Saturday.  As I've said countless times, I'm so happy that I survived this race.  I've seen the DNF rate was nearly 16% which is almost 10% higher than normal DNF rates at Ironman races.  Wow!

Immediately after the race I told Keith and most people standing around that I was done with Ironman Texas.  In fact, I told Colin & Kerry that on the run course as we were approaching mile 22 I think.  I later told Keith I thought that I may be done with Ironman completely.  As it typically goes though, I find myself rethinking those statements.  I'm definitely not done with Ironman.  I want to finish a race in under 15 hours and I KNOW I can do it.  I have absolutely, positively no doubts I can do it.  I think the question I'm asking myself is whether or not I can do it at Ironman Texas?  I want to be able to do it mainly because this is a hometown race and having my family and friends there is a HUGE boost for me.  I can't imagine doing a race outside of Texas where I may not have the support I have had here.  I don't view Ironman Texas in quite the same way I viewed Galveston 70.3 but I do view it as a race I want to conquer.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Part of me says be grateful I've survived two of them and find a race in a cooler climate.  Then the other part of me is saying that I've raced in some of the toughest conditions and survived....3rd times a charm!!!  Ugh, this sport is too addictive for my addictive personality!

I'm so glad I took today off from work.  There is no way I can go sit at a desk all day.  I plan on taking it easy today and maybe even wear some of my sweet Finisher's gear.  :)  Yeah, I'm THAT girl.