Friday, May 17, 2013

Jitters? What is this feeling you speak of?

A little something to help me stay motivated!

Facing your 2nd Ironman is so much different than your 1st.  Gone are the days of just wanting to finish.  You’ve been to this rodeo before and this time, you want to stay on the full 8 seconds and get the best score possible.  For me, I want to PR.  I want to have a big PR. I want my finish time to start with a 13.  I have a lot of wants as you can see. 

The stress this time around is different.  For this Ironman, I know exactly what to expect.  I know that anything can happen.  I know there are people who had horrible 2nd Ironman races.  They were just as prepared as me.  They were just as confident as me.  It didn’t matter though because the day dealt them a hand of cards they didn’t want.  The same thing can happen to me. 

I continue to be challenged by the balance of setting my expectations cautiously while still believing with all my heart that I will achieve my goal.  It’s a hard thing to do!  Can you believe in yourself while at the same time telling yourself the day may suck? 

I remind myself hourly that I can only control a few things come race day.  That’s what I need to continue to focus on.  Execution.  Race my race.  Be smart.  If I do all those things, I will have the best day possible. 

One thing I’m worried about is coming away from this race disappointed.  For my 1st Ironman, I was beyond thrilled that I finished in under 16hrs. I had no expectations for that race other than to not die.  I only wanted to cross that finish line and hear that I was an Ironman.  When I realized I was going to have a time that started with a 15, I was beyond happy.  And when I finished, I kept repeating over & over that I finished in less than 16hrs.  You would’ve thought that I won the damn race.  Do you lose the first timer’s excitement for your 2nd race?  I have to believe that in some small part you do or at the very least, it’s different.  I could finish in the 14hr range and still have a huge PR but will I be satisfied because I want that 13? 

There you go, the source of my jitters.  One thing I know for certain, as soon as I get in the water and the cannon goes off, all I’ll be thinking about is swimming and nothing else.  Then my day will start.  

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